The Importance of Self-Awareness for Kids 

At a Glance

• Self-awareness involves “tuning in” to feelings and thoughts.
• Self-awareness helps kids know how other people see them.
• Self-awareness is an important skill for kids to develop.

People often talk about the need for “self-awareness” in kids with learning and attention issues. But what is it and why is it so important?

Self-awareness is a skill that helps your child tune in to his feelings, thoughts and actions. It’s more than just being able to recognize these things. It means understanding that how he acts on his thoughts and feelings affects himself and others.

Types of Self-Awareness

There are two kinds of self-awareness. Private self-awareness is when your child is aware of something about himself that other people might not be. For example, say your child has to read in front of the class. Recognizing the feeling of butterflies in his stomach as a signal that he’s nervous is private self-awareness.

Public self-awareness is when your child is aware of how other people are seeing him. This can be hard for kids who have trouble reading social cues. For example, say your child stands very close to other kids while talking. Noticing that he is making others uncomfortable and taking a step back is an example of public self-awareness.

How Self-Awareness Helps Kids

Private and public self-awareness work together to help your child understand that what he’s thinking and feeling—how he’s “seeing” himself—might not always be the way other people see him. When your child has good self-awareness skills, he:

• Recognizes his strengths and weaknesses
• Can identify what he needs to do to complete a task
• Recognizes errors in schoolwork and makes edits or changes
• Can understand and talk about his feelings
• Recognizes other people’s needs and feelings
• Sees how his behavior affects others

Kids who have self-awareness do a better job self-monitoring. That means your child is able keep track of what he’s doing (either in learning or socially) and figure out what’s working and what’s not working. Self-awareness also leads to self-reflection—thinking over things that happened in order to find ways to make things work better next time.

Learning and Attention Issues and Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is important for kids with learning and attention issues. Your child might be aware of his challenges, but being aware of his interests and strengths is important, too.

Knowing more about how he thinks and how he comes across to others gives your child a better sense of how to face and work around his challenges. It helps him learn from mistakes and begin speaking up for what he needs.

Helping your child gain self-awareness can start in small ways. Learn more about how to help your grade-schooler, middle-schooler or high-schooler gain self-awareness. Talk to your child about learning and attention issues. Helping your child learn more about himself and his strengths can put him on the road to advocating for himself.

Key Takeaways

• Self-awareness helps kids learn that how they see themselves may be different from how others see them.
• Kids who are self-aware are more able to recognize their strengths as well as their weaknesses.
• Self-awareness is a skill that helps kids with learning and attention issues learn self-reflection and self-advocacy.

          What are the disadvantages of self-awareness?

A. If you are talking about SELF-awareness, meaning one is awake to one’s own inner SELF — the source of one’s own creativity and intelligence — then the ‘disadvantages’ are several.

• One can never go back to the “ignorance is ‘bliss’” argument because SELF- ignorance will be gone for good. You discover that the SELF is the real source of bliss. The old argument was for the sake of solace in not having the bliss of the SELF.
• There are not so many in the world who can relate to what you are experiencing because most of the world will not have a clue what you are going through psychologically. The world may think YOU are deluded when the opposite is the reality. And if YOU don’t understand what is going on, it can be very confusing.
• It becomes more difficult to find others with knowledge about what you are going through psychologically because the “normal” has been left behind. One has entered the realm of the natural. Few live naturally whereas the norm is “normal.” You won’t seem so normal anymore.
• The more advanced one grows in higher states of consciousness, it can seem rather lonely without others also living higher states to relate. Much of the world is crazy people running around in fear over illusions that you come to recognize as such, but it’s hard to convince those caught up in their illusions and dreams that it’s such.
• You will come to think with your heart and feel with your mind. Conscience and humility meld with intellect and act as one. It becomes very painful to try to be mean, dishonest, greedy, crude, rude, arrogant, callous, criminal, small-minded, petty, and all other negative attitudes. This is because it will literally hurt the mind/heart relationship to do so whereas before you had less of a connection, even violated it freely.
• You will have to be more careful about what you tell others because people may recognize something special and begin to look up to you.
• One’s priorities change, becoming in tune with natural law
• As purity increases, it can attract more negativity. People have been crucified for not being careful.
• Magic tricks can be hilarious to watch.

However, the disadvantages are far outweighed by the advantages of adaptability, stability, integration and 24 hour bliss. Certainly not deal-breakers

B. The negative side is when you believe you are self-aware, you believe in a lie.

I can compare it to a phantom feeling in a missing limb. E.g. some people with missing leg can feel it as if it was still there. But if they tried walking on that leg, they would fall on their face.

The feeling of being self-aware is like that. There is a sensation. There is a belief that this sensation means it is an “awareness of self”.

But where is the self itself? ;)

It's nowhere to be found, just as that phantom leg. There is only a feeling, but no thing that it presumably refers to.

And reliance on this feeling of non-existent self is like walking on a non-existent leg. By doing that we trip and fall on our faces all the time, living a life of suffering, fear and worry as a result.

The only thing you are aware of is the feeling of being self-aware. There is no “self” behind it. Only the feeling.

C. I’m assuming by self aware you mean in touch with your deeper self and not self obsessed types.

When you are self aware, you avoid drama. You avoid gossips, pulling people down, toxic people, melodrama, small talks about other people. You mind your own business basically and have lot of acceptance and love. Now I’m not judging but majority of the crowd is doing the rest of it. Thus, you don’t want to be close friends with a lot of people end up having a very small circle of friends. Not that you mind it but sometimes you wish more people of same wavelength would be around.

Thus, when you are self aware, you will mostly be alone. If you fall in love with being alone (I do), it will be not be lonely anymore, it will be a constructive period of you having the best time of your day and building skills.

             What are the benefits of self-awareness?

There are a few. But the most important ones are those who let you gain some control of your reactions toward an unpleasant situation. Being self-aware in those situations allows you to (reSelf awareness has the potential to act as a feedback mechanism within a stream of consciousness that can, if applied properly, lead to a happier existence for both the individual, and betterment of his or her society. Happiness means many different things to people, but in this case I refer specifically to breaking negative patterns that cause suffering. Self-awareness is essential in disrupting these negative patterns of behavior. How it does that is another question, with a much longer answer which has, fortunately, already been addressed by many great teachers throughout history. The problem is, not enough people have sufficient self-awareness to realize the benefits of those teachings. Ironic, isn’t it?)act out of a more holistic point of view. Just imagine you have a fight with your wife/husband and she “activates” your egoic aggressivness. If you are not enough self-aware in this moment you will throw words into her/his face you will regret later on and maybe it also can destroy your relationship.

However if you are self-aware in this situation you will realise that your wife/husband just acts out of their egoic state of consciousness and that you are also start to act out of your egoic state. This realisation leads to a broader picture of the situation, f.e. you see that it’s just about the little problem who takes the trash out. After this self-aware review of the situation it’s rather hilarious instead of life-threatening and evil.

Self-awareness also allows you to let opinions and verbal abuse flow through you without you feeling attacked. This can lead to a more appropriate reaction and maybe to an even more wonderful relationship.

Though this is just one aspect of self-awareness, it’s the one we struggle the most with, being attacked by another human being who reacts out of their egoic state of mind.

Self-Improvement Is Impossible Without Self-Awareness

Self-awareness (sometimes also referred to as self-knowledge or introspection) is about understanding your own needs, desires, failings, habits, and everything else that makes you tick. The more you know about yourself, the better you are at adapting life changes that suit your needs.

Of course, self-awareness is a big part of both therapy and philosophy. It's also the basis of the quantified self movement , which assumes that if you collect data about yourself you can make improvements based on that data. The New York Times breaks down the roots like so:

Socrates's ukase was "know thyself." Though it may come as a surprise to some philosophers, self-knowledge requires more than intellectual self-examination. It demands knowing something about your feelings. In my experience philosophers are, in general, not the most emotionally attuned individuals. Many are prone to treat the ebb and flow of feelings as though our passions were nothing but impediments to reason. Freud, more than the sage of Athens, grasped the moral importance of emotional self-transparency. Like the Greek tragedians but in language that did not require an ear for poetry, he reminded us of how difficult it is to own kinship with a whole range of emotions.

Essentially, the more you pay attention to your emotions and how you work, the better you'll understand why you do the things you do. The more you know about your own habits, the easier it is to improve on those habits. In most cases, this takes a little experimentation. Here's The New York Times again, talking about a self-awareness method called double-loop learning :

LESS common but vastly more effective is the cognitive approach that Professor Argyris called double-loop learning. In this mode we... question every aspect of our approach, including our methodology, biases and deeply held assumptions. This more psychologically nuanced self-examination requires that we honestly challenge our beliefs and summon the courage to act on that information, which may lead to fresh ways of thinking about our lives and our goals.

You can read every productivity tip out there , you can adapt the routines of geniuses , and you can eat up every piece of self-help that comes across the computer screen, but it's completely pointless if you don't know yourself well enough to put the correct advice into practice. For example: in college, I spent my time staying up late and working on papers until late in the night. My room was a mess, I didn't have a proper desk, and I spent more sleepless night than I can count. I felt terrible everyday and the papers I wrote were horrible. I thought I was a night person because it had that sense of "cool creative type" about it, but it obviously wasn't working for me.

Improve Your Self-Awareness with a Few Exercises

Knowing yourself completely is difficult, and it's impossible to solve for every single cognitive bias you have. But just because we suck at it doesn't mean we shouldn't try. You can't solve every problem in your life, but you can make some headway on minor changes. Here are a few ways of doing just that:

• Learn to look at yourself objectively: It's nearly impossible to actually look at yourself objectively, but it's always worth a shot. As we've talked about before , the main idea here is to study and criticize your decisions. Even better, find some trustworthy friends to talk with and listen to their criticisms.
• Write your own manifesto: The main purpose of self-awareness is self-improvement, so it makes sense that you need to have goals. If you're struggling with that part, a manifesto is a great way to push yourself into figuring out what you want.
• Keep a journal: As Kahneman noted above, our memory colors the past pretty deeply. If you want a more accurate gauge of yourself, a journal is a great way to get it . A journal makes you more aware of what you're doing and where problems might be coming from because you can document anything. If you spend time documenting the little things, like food intake, water intake, or sleep, you might notice a larger trend that you can correct for. If you're looking for a deeper understanding of your decision making skills, Harvard Business Review suggests writing down what you think will happen with a decision, then wait nine or ten months and review what you wrote.
• Perform a self-review: The self-review is one of those annoying little things we all do at work, but you can make them beneficial if you think of them more as a thought experiment. Instead of spending your time thinking about what you should improve about yourself, think about what you boss thinks you should do and what co-workers might say. This way, you can see yourself from someone else's perspective and gain a little extra insight into yourself.

It's important to remember that self-awareness is introspection, but it's not navel gazing. Self-absorption and overthinking doesn't get you anywhere, but being aware of your needs and acting on them can help you improve. You might not realize how often what you're doing doesn't correlate to what you want.

 Tips for Living a More Self-Aware, Happy Life

Stay focused on your own goals. With Instagram profiles and other social media platforms, it’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else seems to be doing. Sometimes it can be tempting to feel pity for ourselves when the people we follow are flaunting their successes online.

We may have the ability to see how our peers are leading their lives, but that shouldn’t play a large role (or any role, ideally), in how we choose to conduct ourselves. Stay focused on your own goals, even if it means writing them down on a sticky note and posting it in clear view.

Ignore your phone. Even if only for 10 minutes a day, ignore the constant emails, text messages, and push notifications that come soaring your way. Each time you stop to respond to a text or favorite a tweet, you are pulling yourself farther away from the task in front of you.

If you can, try completing an entire homework assignment without reading a text or checking your Facebook notifications. You may be surprised by how quickly you can accomplish your work, and how gratifying it feels to focus intently on one task until completion.

Spend some time alone. In fact, spend enough time alone to become comfortable with it. Are you craving a burrito on your lunch break, but can’t find any coworkers available to join you? Try walking to the local Mexican restaurant on your own. At first, it may seem strange to be alone in public settings when you would ordinarily be with friends, but doing so can allow you to become more comfortable with yourself and your own desires.

This isn’t about the gratification of getting a chicken tortilla after a long morning; it’s about taking the time to recognize what you want, and that you can accomplish your goals on your own.

Breathe mindfully. Sit with good posture, practice a steady breath, and let thoughts escape your mind. This simple meditation exercise may sound easy, but try it for just 10 minutes and you may be surprised by just how difficult it is to let go and just “be” for a few minutes a day. You may also be surprised by the benefits of engaging in such an activity.

Be productive. We all have guilty pleasures of binge watching Netflix specials and going out for happy hour after work, but don’t let yourself get into a habit of sloth. Be productive, even when you’re not on the clock.

What makes you excited? What brings more meaning to your life? It might be exercising, reading, knitting, cooking, or trying different wine. Find whatever that is, and go do it.

Take up walking. Clear your mind, breathe in the outdoor air (even if it’s muddled with city smog), and enjoy the simplicity of walking for the mere pleasure of the activity. Not only is walking good for your health, it can help you to clear your mind and refocus on what’s important.

Alter your mindset. This may be easier said than done, but never underestimate the power of a strong mindset. When faced with unsavory circumstances (say, having to cancel your plans and instead work all weekend), it can be tempting to mope and feel upset. Instead of resenting your job, thus allowing the hours to drag by, be thankful that you have work at all. In short, focus on the good in life, even if it’s hard to find sometimes.

Be health conscious. Drink lots of water, prepare healthy meals, and exercise multiple times a week. With a busy schedule, it may seem impossible to find time for a run, but never underestimate the benefit of even twenty or thirty minutes of physical activity. Be conscious about getting enough sleep each night, and play a crucial role in increasing the quality of your day time hours.

Clean up after yourself. Do you leave dirty dishes in the sink and laundry on the bed? Do you have a cluster of coffee mugs filling with dust on your desk?

Clean it up! Not only are you creating an eyesore (and perhaps a tripping hazard) for those around you, you’re also doing yourself a disservice. Being aware of your own messes, and having the initiative to clean up after yourself right away, is a sign of maturity.

Savor every moment. Eat slowly and savor every bite. Pat attention to the consistency and flavor of your food. Note the distinct airiness of dish soap bubbles as you rinse out your bowl. Feel the way the wind hits your neck when you walk out to get the mail. Notice the small things each day and savor the sensations that arise, no matter how minute they may seem.

Self-awareness is about leading your own life in a meaningful and impactful manner. It’s about enjoying the little things, finding good in the bad, and ultimately focusing on what brings you joy. Never underestimate the tremendous impact that small steps can have on the quality of your life.